Trigger Warning: Discussions of Miscarriage
It’s likely that someone on your team has experienced a miscarriage. Up to one quarter of pregnancies end in miscarriage. They are not uncommon.
It’s also likely that you won’t know when it’s happened as 80% of miscarriages occur within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, which is why many mothers keep their pregnancies private during this time.
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It is so important for organizations to have practices and policy in place to support mothers who have endured a miscarriage, both publicly and privately.
Mothers shouldn’t have to suffer in silence. Just because you might not know what someone is going through doesn’t mean that as a people leader you can’t support them in the workplace.
Make it a practice to show empathy to all team members and take into account the spectrum of stages in an employee’s life.
If the mother did share their pregnancy news at work or with their manager prior to 12 weeks and then subsequently loses the baby, it is likely they will be simultaneously grieving their loss, experiencing physical pain, enduring medical appointments and very likely dread sharing the news with coworkers and with their manager.
Additionally, if the mother has lost their baby after 20 weeks, they will need to endure the heartbreaking experience of giving birth, referred to as stillbirth.
Physical and Mental Impact of Having a Miscarriage
A miscarriage can have an acute impact on a mother’s physical and mental health.
One in six mothers who have a miscarriage suffer from long-term post-traumatic stress (Engelhard, van den Hout & Arntz, 2001). Pregnancy loss is also associated with physical pain, hormonal swings, anxiety, depression, and sleeping disorders.
This can impair day-to-day functioning and lead to social isolation.
Advice for Employers to Navigate an Employee’s Miscarriage of Stillbirth Empathetically
1. Lead with empathy
It is not your job to find a solution, find meaning behind what happened, or make the pain go away. Focus instead on simply acknowledging their loss and providing opportunities for them to share if they choose to. If grief counselling is available, offer it to the employee.
2. Offer the gift of time
Offer employees time away from work to deal with their grief, ideally as paid leave, not unpaid leave. Appropriate options would be bereavement leave, reduced hours and/or flexible work schedules. Does your company have a miscarriage policy? What are your company’s policies around pregnancy loss and/or parental bereavement leave? Is there flexibility around sick leave policies?
3. Ask whether and what to tell others at work
If they are comfortable, you may be able to save them from having to share the news repeatedly with others by circulating the news among their immediate team members. Of course, do not do this without asking. Assume it is confidential unless they give you permission to share.
Creative a Supportive Environment at Work for Grieving Mothers
There will be wide differences in how mothers are impacted by miscarriage physically and emotionally.
The best advice you will receive will be from the mother themselves.
Establish trust early on by approaching all conversations with openness and compassion. Remind them that you are there to support them, that you are on their team.
Remember that everyone navigates pregnancy loss in their own way.
Maturn offers a Maternity Leave Management Training Workshop, which supports people leaders and organizations to navigate the maternity leave journey and create clear and positive conditions for the transition to and from leave.
References
Engelhard, I. M., van den Hout, M. A., & Arntz, A. (2001). Posttraumatic stress disorder after pregnancy loss. General hospital psychiatry, 23(2), 62–66. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0163-8343(01)00124-4
